Tactile Defensive

02.19.2003 - 8:39 pm

I put baby clothes away today. Mostly hand-me-down stuff. Some really cute things Nick and I picked up.

I think everyone I saw at work today made a comment about how huge I am. OK, I'm getting big, but not HUGE! My boss doesn't think I'll make it to my due date. We'll see. I'm incredibly uncomfortable again. Baby is still very active. I was laying on the bed this evening shortly after I worked out and did my stretches, my brother came by and he saw my belly moved. It really freaked him out, he didn't want to feel the baby at all. That's OK, he'll see her soon enough.

My father-in-law is coming in a few weeks to stay for a few days. I finally got up the nerve to tell Nick I don't feel comfortable around him. Nick wants to say something to his dad that I'm just not as affectionate as he is (which is the majority of my discomfort), I don't know if that is the right thing. Maybe I fear that his tendency for affection will lend him to put his hands on my belly when I'm not inviting it to happen. I mentioned to Nick that I have never been much of an affectionate person. That my friend Pi knew Nick was the one for me when she saw how close in my personal space I allowed him and didn't flinch (I've known Pi since 1st grade). I wonder if Nick doesn't really know that part of me because he's never seen that part of me. Kinda like I don't really understand how his temper can flare because I've never seen it. It will all be OK...

It's now quarter to 9 and I want to go to sleep. I think I'll go crawl in bed with my book and doze off shortly.

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