Sex, porn & erotica

12.01.2002 - 5:27 pm

I don't know why I am thinking of this today, but what's the deal with Slut, in reference to a woman, being such a negative comment? A man can go out and fuck as many women as he wants and he gets a pat on the back from all his buddies. Most girls won't even care how "experienced" this man may be, and have sex with him anyway.

But when a woman goes out and whoops it up and has a grand old time, and has sex with as many men as she wants, why the term Slut? And why is it perceived so negatively? There isn't any positive connotation for a women that is "experienced". If there is I haven't heard it yet (readers, please fill me in if it exists).

I think it may have come up around Nick and I talking about pop culture, and he referred to Christina Aguilera as a Slut. I corrected him, she's a dirty whore. In my dictionary, a slut is a positive word regardless if it is in reference to a man or a woman. Also in my dictionary, a whore is a bad word, indicating someone who has no regard for themselves or their actions when it comes to sex. A slut is repsonsible and proud, a whore just doesn't care (and it shows).

Nick and I were also talking about strip clubs this weekend. Being in Vancouver B.C., they are supposed to have some very nice clubs in town. We had talked about going to one, and Nick decided the money would be better spent elsewhere. I'm intrigued to experience a strip club, don't know how much participation you will get out of me though.

We also got on the topic of women who are strippers/dancers/waitresses in these establishments and my thoughts on the matter. Having a minor in Women's Studies, I spent a lot of class time debating how derogatory porn was to women. I remember there being a very clear line between porn and erotica discussions in class. Porn was bad, erotica was good. So Nick asked me where I fell on the topic of women that work in these clubs. I first described it as, if it's a "good" club, then it's OK. But if it's not, then it's "bad". He asked for the difference between the two. At the time I explained a "good" club as a respectable place, where the girls have protection (body guards, etc.), aren't made to feel value only for their bodies (yeah, that's kind of vague). The "bad" club is one that could be abusive to the women that are supporting it. I think the better way to describe this is if the woman feels totally in control of her situation, that's the "good" club. If the woman feels any sense of danger or insecurity, that's a "bad" club.

So, in a nutshell, I am not on the feminist band wagon that all strip clubs are horrible, wretched places that degrade all women. If a woman is of the mind (and body) to use her power for her own means, well...You go girl!

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