10.29.2002 - 12:47 pm

I feel so sick. Last night I came home from work, chatted a bit with Nick, watched an episode of the Simpsons and went to sleep about 5:30pm. Woke up for an hour around 9:30 for a protein shake and more talking with Nick and back to sleep. I could barely get out of bed this morning. And now I feel like I could sleep some more. And I feel sick to my stomach.

Whine, whine, whine! It feels like all I do anymore is whine. I usually can feel good about myself and the world around me when I'm "normal"Öthis pregnancy has kicked me on my ass. Nick wrote the nicest journal entry yesterday about me having such a rough time. I know it could be worse. A co-worker threw up every day, every meal from about 6 weeks until she delivered. She gave birth to the cutest, fattest little girl. I don't know how she did it. I don't know how most pregnant women do it. Sometimes, like today, I just feel so worn down and like I cannot do this. Then I think that women have been pregnant and sick for a time far longer than I can even imagine.

Last week my Mom lectured me. She used to be a nurse in an OB/GYN department. She gave me the "You must listen to your body" speech and that if I only ever listened to my body once in my lifetime, it should be when I'm pregnant.

Now Iím crying. I'm just depressed today.

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