jitters

May 10, 2002 - 9:12 p.m.

As brief as this may be...I do want to log something as it is the night before my wedding.

I'm freaking. Thank Goddess Nick is here to keep me calm. I don't know how he does it, I might have left a long time ago. Maybe I haven't been that bad, although I think I have. I had this A-Ha yesterday...sitting in a restaurant for a late lunch with my family and part of his...all these people are here to see me and Nick get married. OUR wedding. For real, no more planning, no more fittings, no more errands or checks to be written (at least right now) and it's not a rehearsal. This isn't fantasy land. This is it.

FUCK!!!

(in a good way...)

I know my friends will be here for me. To support me and feed me and hold my hand as I clench theirs because my mother does something to drive me crazy (and I know she will). It will be wonderful. It will be fabulous. It will be memorable. And I will be a princess.

Goodnight. And good-bye in some respects. And HELLO to a new life and new partnership.

I love you Nick! (I loathe you too)

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