August 2, 2001 -

What the hell is that you may be wondering. Well, yeah, me too. I think it�s the new buzz training of the millennium. Or dare I say this month?! Most of our management staff is at a training session for it today. So...I think that means I get to play a little bit more than usual.

Have you ever created a pdf file? Do you know the amount of technical knowledge to create this nice, formatted little document? That�s what I�ve been doing with my work life the last three days so I can move our job descriptions onto our intranet. BORING!! I keep thinking, they are paying me this much to do this work?! I guess sometimes I feel guilty that I end up doing such menial tasks as a part of my job and being paid so well.

Have I told you all I�m incredibly unhappy in my work right now? I�ve been going through some phases of disliking different co-workers and just being miserable. I think I�m actually going to talk to Psycho Boss Lady tomorrow during our one-on-one. You know, she�s only human (going through menopause without drugs)...regardless, maybe she can help. And maybe I need to be somewhat accountable and separate myself from some extremely negative forces. For instance, last year I was asked to chair our United Way campaign. I decline because I have some strong personal issues with that organization and I just do not support them. No problem, it did not reflect poorly on me at all. But this year, I was asked to join the committee by our Chair and I turned her down. This is a peer of mine. And you know what she did? Ran to PBL to �tell� on me. Christ! What is it about Corporate America and the tendency to act like 5 year olds? Whatever, I don�t need that kind of game playing. I do feel that I�m above that. After all, I�m here and paid to do a job. Not to make friends.

So yes, I�m thinking of walking into my one-on-one tomorrow and spilling my dissatisfied guts. I think I also want to talk to Nick about that first. Get his input, since all this is just swimming around my head right now.

Sigh....I can hardly wait to be out from this desk and cubicle and be a (more) full time artist. Hey...which reminds me, one of the Chairs of the HeartWalk here asked me to be a part of a fund raising fair. I�ll get some more exposure. Even thinking of designing the HeartWalk bracelet, limited edition, for sale. Maybe there is some marketer in me after all.

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