blue pregnancies

July 31, 2001 -

I know I haven't written in awhile. I just finished this long, telling email to a wonderful friend. I'm going to share it with y'all right here, because it really sums up what I'm feeling right in this moment.


So, my darling friend, you have finally succumbed to the notification list. Sigh....not like I have much to talk of either, Nick keeps asking why I'm not updating. I just don't fucking feel like it. I don't feel I've gotten enough ME time these last few weeks. I actually exercised my right and put the Do Not Disturb sign on my door yesterday. Which was very nice, but it wasn't quite enough. Hm, I think I'm feeling kinda blue. I saw the doctor today, will be beginning the process of weaning off my anti-D's. All in preparation of getting pregnant. It's hard Nia, I literally know 8 pregnant women that are pretty close to me in my life, and 6 of you are due somewhere near February. Nick keeps saying we can get pregnant as soon as I want, I really feel we need to wait until early next year. And shit, that's not even 6 months away!!

I think the reality of me starting to talk about our upcoming wedding is settling in. Nick has been the one a bit freaked the last few days as I have begun to talk about it. There's something about going to the doctor and talking to her about starting to prepare for pregnancy that made it really real. I started a wedding website last night. Initially, I emailed a few, close girlfriends to share it with them, with the intention of not sharing with Nick. But I did end up sharing it with him last night during pillow talk. He was excited, which kinda surprised me I suppose. I'm getting married, by this time next year I will be a Mrs. Will I change my name? Will I wear the ring? Will I go traditional wedding gown, or the one I have pictured in my mind. Wanna go dress shopping with me when you get some energy back? You, me, Hail and a digital camera? Sound reminiscent? Then we can email the pics to E and C. sigh.... another transition coming to pass in my life.

I'm starting to loose steam. Nick is out of town until late Thursday. I'm kinda glad to have some alone time since I've been feeling the lack of it lately. Just me and the kitties. Babsey is going through a mommie thing right now, she is all over me. Not to mention her practically sleeping on my head last night causing my eyes to explode in allergens and histamines.

So with that I shall leave you for the evening. I mean, you might be asleep already :) Take care Mommie....let me know when you want to go shopping for the kid. I would LOVE to pick out an outfit or two.

...luv Vi

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