June 28, 2001 -

Thursday of the second week of my Hawaii trip. It's all been wonderful. I'm gently tanning (after my burn fiasco last week...all better now)...hanging with friends....hanging with preparations and all.

And yet, I finally touched on yesterday these feelings of Needing To Please All that Nick and I talked about. We went off on our own yesterday to cruise the highways and biways of HI in the convertible. Then home for a quick rest and more Harry Potter reading (why have I waited so long to read these books?!) and then I took Nick out to a local seafood place for an enjoyable evening.

That turned into a near fight.

You see, I've been trying to please all. This is really the first time Nick and I have been on vacation. It's one of the first times he has hung out with my friends (outside of Nia). And I'm trying to be helpful in wedding preparations, etc. Imagine trying to get all of that done at one time and finding the space to relax yourself. It isn't pretty.

So last night I was feeling pretty down and out and wanting to crawl in a hole to escape from everyone. Nick pointed out that I cannot please everyone all of the time. And given that he got sick earlier in the week, he wants to spend some quality vacation time with me too. Ergo, the day to ourselves. And I was feeling guilty for not going to Taco Night at E's parents house. Am I making any sense at all?

So now, I'm still feeling a bit torn. I believe there are some going to one of the beaches today for sun and sand and clear blue-green waters...and I want to go too. To just lay in the sun and soak it all in. Then we have the rehearsal dinner tonight. And tomorrow is spa day.

And like the Sunday dread before Monday in the office, I'm starting to worry about my vaca coming to an end. Nick told me to chill. After all, I have 5 more days here in Hawaii, and then two more days until I have to go back to hell (oops, work). It's just my neurotic tendencies I suppose. to put on that bathing suit and prep for a day in the sun...


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