March 6, 2001 -


Just donít feel like writing tonight. Iím worn out! Long day....lots of sugar....not enough water...whatever, I digress.

Chatted with my brother tonight. I know I often fall into the over-protective motherly role with him, having been the ďMomĒ for much of our childhood...but that seems to happen less and less. He was sharing our motherís reaction to him wanting to move out of NJ to take a job at a college to be a swim coach while he goes for his Masterís. Mom was not happy. I know heís the baby. And yes, there was a time when the two of them got along great. But there are those words S said last week in therapy that crashed into my brain like a bomb...

Sheís self-centered.

I had never pondered that before. Although my friends would all say; DUH!! She is self-centered. I have been making a conscience effort the last year to repair our relationship and share with her my experience as a child in her house so maybe she can understand my choices and struggles in life. But Noooo....it always has to be about her!

I donít want to get into examples and whine about how frustrated I am. Basically what I am getting at is Iím glad Will wants to get out of NJ and move on with his live. He is not responsible for her happiness and sanity. Only she is responsible for that.

Now if we can only make her understand....

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