sad heart

07.29.2004 - 8:45 pm

Took me awhile to get back here.

My work/vaca was very nice. Nick is right that I did not get a chance to relax. In fact, when I finally was starting to let go and enjoy, we had to leave. The one thing I really wanted to do and didn't, was hang out in the adult pool on a lounger in the pool and rest in the cool water. The pools where we stayed were just amazing.

Anyway, on the whole it was a very good trip. My work conference was very good, very informative. It was good to see my mom, Nick's mom and my SIL. It's hard having that much family around. I told Nick that the next time we travel to Orlando, no one will know we are going. I think it's great to see family and all, but I'm at this point of my life now that I have my own family. And often times I just want to spend time with them and not everyone else. In some respects its nice having 4 sets of grandparents. In many others, it's hellacious. My MIL pissed me off a few times. I feel bad venting to Nick about that, he knows what his mom can be like. And he knows I am very strong and opinionated. And I donít have all the years of mother-guilt-history that he has so itís easier for me to say No to her, and harder for me to understand when he says Yes. Maybe also that I donít always say Yes to my mom. I donít know. Bottom line is, families are difficult.

I also got really depressed about going back to work. I really did not want to go back and deal with the stupid, inane, useless crap I deal with on a day to day basis. The first day back was really hard for me. Now itís Thursday night and Iím immersed in it and back in the swing. Yuck! I really hope that one day we can realize our dream of me staying home with my children. Even if it is only for a short period of time.

So tomorrow is Friday. Thereís so much to get done this weekend since we were out of town the last two weekends. I really am in no mood to do any housework. I want to go to the zoo with Munch. I probably should just listen to the inner desire huh?

last - next