06.03.2003 - 5:43 pm
Nick is coming back tonight, two days early from his trip. Yay! for us!! I know he misses the Munchkin a lot, I don't blame him. Being alone with her all this time hasn't been as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I think it helps that I lined up some friends to come and help me out, more than anything it was just some adult interactions while he was away.I noticed something about myself shortly after he left. I went food shopping to get some meals and snacks/treats. I eat a lot when he isn't here. And I eat a lot of sweets, I bought cookies, chocolate and ice cream at the store. They are all gone already. In a way, it's like I'm engaging in my ED again. I did not throw up anything, but I've been eating to calm myself in his absence. I also recognized that I do this every time he goes away. I wasn't particularly thrilled to learn this about myself. Of course, I have all the "tools" from therapy to deal with this. But a part of me is thinking I should go back into counselling. The therapist I was seeing while I was still pregnant isn't in the picture anymore. We just didn't click. I think I should get someone new. Deal with this lingering food/body-image stuff, and feeling some loss of identity in being a new mom. Or maybe it's adjusting to my new identity of being a mom. I don't feel like I'm making any sense. last - next
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