02.28.2003 - 7:19 am

And honestly Mr. Rogers was my least favorite show (I was into the Electric Company). I distinctly telling my mom one time that Mr. Rogers was gay (yes, those exact words), so clear that I almost remember what I was wearing and the exactly place in our house in Maine that it came up. I have (almost) no recollection of my childhood, so remember such a weird scene still puzzles me. She always wanted me to watch Mr. Rogers, some days I would be into it, others not. Now I think it's because I didn't enjoy the show as a whole, only bits and pieces of it. When I have watched it as an adult, I often was hooked ~ kinda like how the Food Channel or Trading Spaces sucks me into a void today. Still, it's sad. Another end to an era.

The Mr. Rogers website has some great thoughts and information on dealing with death with your children. My impending parenthood sends me to things like this more and more often. It's so different than when I was growing up. My parents never talked to me about feelings, they still don't. I think I'm one of the many emotionally-deprived adults walking the earth. I learned in therapy that the bulimia has a direct connection to not expressing myself on so many levels. I don't want my children to have that kind of pain. I want them to know it's OK to have feelings and be sad and want to spend an hour crying for no reason (or a reason). I don't want my children to have some serious illness or disease that they have to overcome later in life. Yet, I know that I don't have total control over that, and by attempting to have that control could send them exactly where I don't want them to be. If I bring it down to basics, I think if I just teach them to have boundaries and experience their feelings, I'll be doing OK as a mom. So much responsibility it scares me.

last - next