1st trimesters suck

10.14.2002 - 8:00 am

I don't like this new phase of pregnancy that I'm in. I'm starting to get sick more, dry heave more, feeling crappy still. I almost lost my dinner on my plate in front of Nick the other night. I'm at work now, and just threw up a banana I was eating. I'm slowly trying to eat a scone and see if it stays down. Whine whine whine…I'm tired of feeling so crappy all the time!!!

We had a really good weekend. Friday we stayed in and talked and watched a movie. Saturday was full of errands, and Nick got his other nipple pierced. Yummy! It looks so sexy. He has a barbell in his left nipple that was done about a year ago, and had a ring put in this time. I can hardly wait to be able to tug on it in a come-hither fashion. Maybe string a chain across the two piercings.

Nick has been very eager for sex. He's been so patient with me, I have very little sex drive. And on top of that, when we do fool around, there comes a point that it's so painful for me, I have to stop. He made a few comments this weekend about needing to get laid. There's a part of me that wants to tell him to just go find someone, because it won't be coming from me. And a part of me that aches because I just cannot go there, on top of that it still upsets me a bit that he says it. I feel that I’m being really selfish by saying this, because I know he's going through a lot right now and I'm doing my best to be there for him and listen and be supportive. There's this (overwhelming) feeling inside of me that just wants to scream, I'm miserable right now and I just want to be left alone. I'm a total cranky bitch when I'm feeling sickly, and hearing things about how me not feeling well is affecting us really sucks. Believe me! ~ If I could get rid of these ickys, I would in a heartbeat (as long as it didn't mean getting rid of the baby). I'm still hanging on for that magical 2nd trimester mark of feeling better. A lot of my friends told me it was at the 12 week mark, then I read in one of my books that the 2nd trimester mark isn't until the start of your 15th week. So right now I'm holding on for that, which is next Tuesday. I just don't know how to take care of myself and my family right now.

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